Here’s the thing: as long as it’s still an affair, you won’t know if it’s special, different, or has legs. That’s because the chemicals in our brain when we are having an affair cause a distorted experience that overtakes the ability to rationally assess things. … AND because you need to be in a real life, dull relationship, without secrecy, the intensity of desire, the intermittent contact, the forbiddeness, and the tension of what you can’t fully have, to know whether what you’ll build and hav

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